Martin Smolka

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Nagano - libretto

Overture - Arrival of the Hockey Players

(Elegant rich men get out of limousines and change clothes, transforming themselves into modern-day gladiators. Toward the end of the overture a runner comes in with the Olympic Flame.)

Vocal introduction alongside the Olympic Flame

HNILIČKA AND WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Nagano, five circles, the flame burns.
Let us put our disputes on ice. The ice will be used for sport.
The ancient message beckons to us.
Kalokagathia:
May the soul with the body and the body with the soul in harmony be.
Home, the mind wanders home.
Mom, Dad…

DAD AND MOM:
Mom! What now? The TV! Again!? It went out! No way! Dammit!

HNILIČKA:
The sacred moment - defeat or glory?

MOM AND DAD:
Dad! OK? The colour! It's bad? Still wet! What? You deaf or something? Dammit!

HNILIČKA AND MALE CHORUS:
May the fire of a true hero's heart recast the lead of muscles into the gold of victory. Kalokagathia! Victoria!

DAD AND MOM:
Shit! Dammit!



1st Period (Act I) - In the locker room

I/1: Bustle in the locker room

(The players take a long time getting thoroughly prepared for the match: they exercise on machines, get their equipment ready, get dressed, concentrate their thoughts, drink and snack, and challenge each other.)


PLAYERS (huffing and grunting while exercising on the machines):
Hooh, oooo
Oof, ho, oo
Hah, eh
Yoo, ö
Ü, ü-ya-ah
Brrr, ah!

(Shouting and groaning during massages:)
Aaaah! Mmm.

MASSAGE TABLE (soprano, hidden under it):
Aaaah!


I/2 Duet with the ice rink

JÁGR:
What a chilly, chilly plain of ice

ICE RINK (women's chorus):
You're mine, I'm yours. Mine, yours.

JÁGR:
You can be treacherous, treacherous, oh plain of ice!

ICE RINK:
Jaromír is shivering and trembling.

JÁGR:
How I'll tame you today, you plain of ice!

ICE RINK:
You'll writhe like a snake. What, are you afraid? Are you afraid you will have to give up the ghost?

JÁGR:
In the NHL the rink is thirty meters at most. Chilly, treacherous.

ICE RINK:
Wrah-ee-ah-ee-ah-eethe

JÁGR:
Treacherous plain.

ICE RINK:
My hero, my hero, my hero, mine, mine.


I/3 Bustle in the locker room

PLAYERS (challenging each other, various conversations simultaneously):
Hey man, hey man.
Agile as eels.
Clever as foxes.
The flexibility of tendons.
Steel-breakers.
Muscles of steel.

(singing:)
Hah, ah, eh, oof, oof, oof!
Do re mi fa sol la si score!
Do mi sol si score!
Score!


I/4 'War Council'

COACH:
So guys, we'll make 'em jump!

PLAYERS:
Oooh, hmm, aah, hmmm.

COACH:
Paw and paw, paw, paw, then claw.

PLAYERS:
Oooh!

COACH:
A goal...

PLAYERS:
...is...

COACH:
Clamber, scramble, crawl, and clamber,
Cla-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hamber!
...a goal!
Squash, squash, squash,
Squash 'em like roaches.

PLAYERS:
Like roaches?

COACH:
They crawl, don't they? They crawl, they crawl like bugs. They're like slugs.

PLAYERS:
Hmmm, hmm, hmm.

COACH:
Pound and pound and pound and pound 'em to bits, sink 'em!

PLAYERS:
Sink 'em!

COACH:
Sink 'em!

PLAYERS:
What a strategist, strategist, strategist!

COACH:
Hašan [nickname for Hašek] catches everything.

PLAYERS:
Hašan catches.

COACH:
He'll catch everything.

PLAYERS:
Catch!

COACH:
And now the match!


I/5 Bustle in the locker room

PLAYERS (repeating the instructions from the 'council'):
Clamber, scramble, crawl,
Squash 'em like roaches.
Do in the roaches, clamber, clamber.
Hašan'll catch everything, they crawl like bugs.
We'll make 'em jump.
Jump.
Score!


I/6 Hašek rises up

(With help from Hnilička, Hašek has finally finished dressing and rises up with a fighting song on his lips.)


HAŠEK:

(Translation:)
Impetum ferreRepel the attack,
Arma ferreRaise the weapon,
Signa ferreGo to battle,
Victoriam ferreWin the victory!
Mihist nomen DominikMy name is Dominik.

Augurium veniatLet the augury come,
Cor meum fervidumMy heart is afire,
Pro viribus pugnaboFor the heroic battle.
Mihist nomen DominikMy name is Dominik.

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Dominik, Dominik, Dominik…


I/7 'Shaman' dance around Hašek

PLAYERS, after a while also CHORUS:
Hosanna, we have Hašan.
Hosanna, Hašan.
Vivat, vivat, vivat!

PARENTS (simultaneously):
Hosanna, we have Milan.
Look, look, they're coming out!


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - BREAK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

History of gold not won (2nd vocal introduction)

HNILIČKA:
Four times already our team was within reach of Olympic gold.

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
In the year of our lord one thousand nine hundred forty-eight,

HNILIČKA:
In St. Moritz.


WOMEN'S CHORUS:
In the year of our lord one thousand nine hundred sixty-eight,

HNILIČKA:
In Grenoble.

DAD:
In Grenoble.


WOMEN'S CHORUS:
In the year of our lord one thousand nine hundred seventy-six,

HNILIČKA:
In Innsbruck.

DAD:
In Innsbruck.


WOMEN'S CHORUS:
In the year of our lord one thousand nine hundred eight-four,

HNILIČKA:
God knows where!

DAD:
In Sarajevo, fool!


HNILIČKA:
This year or never!
This year or ne-ne-ne ne-ne-ne neve-!
Or nenene-nenene-nenene-never!

WOMEN'S CHORUS (simultaneously):
This year or never!
Or never!



Second Period (Act II) - The Game

II/1 Quarter final (Czech Republic - USA)

The Game (hockey = a wild dance)


Time out

CHORUS AT LEFT (fans of the Czech team):
Go to it, boys!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (fans of the opponents):
Boys it togo!

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Hašek!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (in Czech with American accent):
A bad check!

1st CZECH FAN:
The heart of Euroooope!

1st AMERICAN FAN (in Czech with American accent):
The New World!

2nd CZECH FAN:
Draw your bows!

2nd AMERICAN FAN (in Czech with American accent):
Draw your guns!

3rd CZECH FAN:
The puck! The puck!

3rd AMERICAN FAN (in Czech with American accent):
The puck! The puck!


The Game (wild dance)


Time out

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Draw and attack!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (in English):
That's their last sketch!

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Crush 'em!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (in English):
Play fair!

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Mangle 'em!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (in English):
Dirty game! Steel the puck!

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Not yet, not yet. We'll grind 'em to bits.

CHORUS AT RIGHT (in English):
Oh, yeah, oh yeah!


The game (wild dance)


Time out

CHORUS AT RIGHT (in English): Gird, girt, girt.

CHORUS AT LEFT: Crush...

CHORUS AT RIGHT: Go, went, gone.

CHORUS AT LEFT: ...those guys!

CHORUS AT RIGHT: Slide, slid, slid.

CHORUS AT LEFT: Conquer...

CHORUS AT RIGHT: Speed, sped, sped

CHORUS AT LEFT: ... the New World!

CHORUS AT RIGHT: Fly, flew, flown.

CHORUS AT LEFT: Get...

CHORUS AT RIGHT: Spin, span, spun

CHORUS AT LEFT: ... those guys!

CHORUS AT RIGHT: Grind, ground, ground.

CHORUS AT LEFT: Crush 'em.

CHORUS AT RIGHT: Win, won, won.

CHORUS AT LEFT: Destroy 'em.

CHORUS AT RIGHT: Bang, bang, bang.

CHORUS AT LEFT: (female fans of the Czech team, referring to Hašek with various diminutive forms of his name expressing endearment):
Hašek Hašíček
Hašan Hašánečíček
Hašek Hašíček
Hašan Hašánečíček
Hašek is God, Hašek is God.


The game (Hašek the goalkeeper rolls around on the ice - dance solo.)


DAD:
Let our boy play!

MOM:
'Fast Hand' Hnilička!

DAD:
Let our boy pl…

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Oh, no!

DAD:
Dammit!

CHORUS AT RIGHT:
Gooooal!


(On the screen appears: Czech Republic 0 - USA 1.)


MOM (from the stove):
What happened?

CHORUS AT LEFT:
No!

DAD:
Dammit!

MOM:
Rats!

CHORUS AT RIGHT:
Gooooal!

DAD, MOM:
Dammit!

CHORUS AT RIGHT:
Goooooal!!!

DAD:
Mom, gimme a beer!

MOM:
Dark?

DAD:
Dark.


HNILIČKA:
Defeat or glory?


II/2 Captain Růžička encourages the team in the locker room

RŮŽIČKA:
Enough of this cowering!
Enough of these bowed heads!
Let's face it with our faces. The face is a shield. Get hold of your nostrils! Get up your manliness!
Split, cut, penetrate, fly!
Split the ramparts, show your teeth, raise your fists!
Beat and forge and crush and boil and yell, show your teeth!
Fire and thrust and thrash and roll, split the ramparts!

ADDITIONAL PLAYERS JOIN IN:
Roll on, roll on!
Take the puck and shoot!
Crush the rival!
Sack the temple!
Take the puck and fire!
Crush the rival!
Sack the temple!

COACH (simultaneously):
Pound and pound and pound and sink 'em!
Pound and sink!
They're weak bugs, like slugs!

MOM:
They're cowards.

PLAYERS, COACH, MOM, DAD:
Sack the temple! The temple! The temple!


II/3 The winning stretch (a majestic, expressive dance)

CHORUS AT LEFT (joyfully):
Gooooal! (on the board: 1:1)

CHORUS AT RIGHT (disappointed):
Goal...


CHORUS AT LEFT:
Goal, gooooal! (2:1)

CHORUS AT RIGHT:
Goal...


CHORUS AT LEFT:
Goal, goal, goal! (3:1)

CHORUS AT RIGHT:
Goal...


CHORUS AT LEFT:
Goal, goal, goal, goooal! (4:1)

CHORUS AT RIGHT:
Goal.


(Remainder of the match in a joyful mood. Four groups of fans calling over each other:)

CHORUS AT LEFT (women):
Go to it, boys, go to it boys! Hašek, Hašek!

CHORUS AT LEFT (men):
Catch those guys, smash those guys, crush those guys!
Goal, goal, goal, goooal!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (women, in English):
Goal. Goal.

CHORUS AT RIGHT (men, in English):
Gird girt girt, go went gone, slide slid slid, fly flew flown,
Speed sped sped, spin span spun, grind ground ground, win won won.


(Closing siren. Amidst the victorious rejoicing we gradually hear the song of a female spectator who gazes at Hnilička, in love.)


FAN:
Victoria!!!

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Semi-final, semi-final! We're climbing Olympus!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (women - in Czech with American accent):
Just wait for Salt Lake City!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (men - in Czech with American accent):
It could have been different!

FEMALE SPECTATOR:
Aaaah.


II/4 Love Duet

HNILIČKA:
When I felt the tender arrows of glances,
Like lightning struck me the fairness of that face...

CHORUS AT LEFT (fading, as though from afar):
On to Olympus, on to Olympus!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (fading, as though from afar):
Just wait for Salt Lake City!

HNILIČKA:
...of that unknown face.

FEMALE SPECTATOR (still singing):
Aaaah, oooooo!

HNILIČKA:
Oh, as I felt in the back of my head the touch of someone's eyes,
The touch of the eyes of that unknown woman.
O, cara mia bellisima
O, cara mia, mia, cara bellisima!
O, bella bellisima mia!
Mmm.

FEMALE SPECTATOR:
I grow quiet, I flow away, I am extinguished.
I am fading out.


II/5 Semi-final (Czech Republic - Canada)

(The actual match has already taken place. The viewer learns of the indecisive result from the illuminated board. Preparations for sudden death.. The determination of ordering is depicted by a short dance solo of a coin being flipped.)

MOM:
Was it heads?

DAD:
No, the maple leaf.


Sudden death - nine charges on the goal.


1. Canada - Czech Republic


CANADIAN FORWARD (lion's roar to scare the opponents):
Uaaaa, uaaa!

HAŠEK (squealing or howling to scare the opponents):
Eeee, eeeee!

DAD:
He shot it back!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (fans of the opponents, in English):
Nothing, nothing!

CHORUS AT LEFT (Czech fans):
Push the puck in there, pound the puck, push it, pound it! Puck, puck, puck!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (simultaneously, in English):
Feel fine, feel free, and catch it!


2. Czech Republic - Canada


COACH (harshly calls out the next forward):
Reichel!

CZECH FORWARD:
Hey!

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Mmm.

CZECH FORWARD:
Hey!

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Mmm.

CZECH FORWARD:
Hey, sol, fa sol, la, si, si…!

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Gooal, gooal, goal!

DAD:
Goal!

CHORUS AT RIGHT:
Boo!


3. Canada - Czech Republic


MOM (dreamily, admiringly breaths the name of the incoming Canadian shooter):
Burque…


(This charge is depicted by a dance.)


DAD:
Too high!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (in English):
Oh, God!

CHORUS AT LEFT:
Push the puck in there, pound the puck, push it, pound it! Puck, puck, puck!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (in English):
Feel fine and catch it! Feel free and catch it, catch it!


4. Czech Republic - Canada


COACH (harshly):
Ručínský!

CZECH FORWARD:
Oh!

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Ooo!

DAD:
The glove!

CHORUS AT RIGHT (fright, then relief):
Uh? Oh!

LEFT: Geyser

RIGHT: Galleys

LEFT: Glory

RIGHT: Guerrilla

LEFT: Grandezza

RIGHT: Grimace

LEFT: Gloriola

RIGHT: Groggy


5. Canada - Czech Republic


MOM (dreamily):
Niewendyk...

CANADIAN FORWARD (always in English):
Hell, go to hell!

HAŠEK:
Coeli coelorum!

CANADIAN FORWARD:
Hey, go to hell!

HAŠEK:
Coeli coelorum!

CANADIAN FORWARD:
Hell, hell, hell.

HAŠEK:
Coeli, coeli
Coelorum, coelorum,
Coeli coelorum!

DAD:
Missed!

RIGHT (in English):
Oh, heaven, oh heaven!

LEFT:
Push the puck in there, pound the puck, push it, pound it! Puck, puck, puck!!

RIGHT (in English):
Feel fine and catch it! Feel free and catch it!


6. Czech Republic - Canada


COACH:
Patera!


(dance)


DAD:
Goalman!

RIGHT (in English):
Good!

LEFT:
Almost a goal, almost a goal!

RIGHT (in Czech with American accent):
That's no goal, that's no goal!


7. Canada - Czech Republic


CANADIAN FORWARD:
Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada!

MOM:
Lindros…

HAŠEK:
Quod licet iovi

CANADIAN FORWARD:
Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada!

HAŠEK:
Non licet bovi

DAD:
They can't shoot through him!

RIGHT (in English): Oh, hell, oh, hell!

LEFT: Giant

RIGHT: Grizzly

LEFT: Grandezza

RIGHT: Grimace

LEFT: Glowing

RIGHT: Groggy

LEFT: Garlands

RIGHT: Goop


8. Czech Republic - Canada


COACH:
Jágr!!!

JÁGR:
I am Jágr.

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Ne-ne, ne-ne, never never fear.

JÁGR:
I am Jágr.

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Ne-ne-ne, never...

JÁGR:
I, I, I Jágr.

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Ne-, never, never, ne...

JÁGR:
I am, I, I Jágr.

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Ne- ne-, never, fea- fea- fea- fear.

JÁGR:
I, I, I Jágr.

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Ne-, never, never, fea-fea-fear.

JÁGR:
I am Jágr.

CANADIAN GOALKEEPER:
Ne-ne- never.

JÁGR:
I am I!

DAD:
Hit the post!

RIGHT (in English): Yeah!

LEFT: Hey! Jágr!

RIGHT: Tiger!

LEFT: Grr, haf!

RIGHT: Grr, woof!

LEFT: Haf, haf!

RIGHT: Woof, woof!


9. Canada - Czech Republic


MOM:
Shanahan...

CANADIAN FORWARD (in English):
Our last chance!

HAŠEK:
Alleluia!

DAD:
Overshot!

RIGHT (in English):
Oh, shit!


All rejoicing, simultaneously:


LEFT (women):
Victoria, vivat, vi-vi-victoria!

RIGHT (women, in English):
Oh, poor boys!

LEFT (men):
The final, the final, the gold is in reach!

RIGHT (men, in English):
Oh God, oh hell, oh shit!


DAD and MOM (dancing around the kitchen):
Whoopee! Whoopooopee! Whoop whoop, whoop whoop, whoopeeeee! Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoo, whoo, whoo...


II/6 Love Duet II

FEMALE SPECTATOR (Her sweet singing rises again like the sun over the rejoicing of the crowds):
Aaah!

HNILIČKA:
Oh, again I am stabbed by the darts of the unknown women's glances.
She catches me in the nets of her eyes.

MOM:
Look how she's going after him.

HNILIČKA:
She's swinging me in those nets as in a hammock, swinging, swinging.

MOM:
She's no girl for him.

FEMALE SPECTATOR:
Aaaah.

HNILIČKA:
O, cara mia gracila
Bellissima mia, mia

MOM:
And where would they live?

HNILIČKA:
Caught in the nets of eyes, I don't know whose. The unknown woman. Mmm.

FEMALE SPECTATOR:
I Japanese and you Czech.
Ipanese and you Czech.

MOM:
And what'll I cook for her? How'll I talk to her?

DAD:
You've always got some problem…

HNILIČKA:
You Japanese and me Czech. Czech, Czech, Czech, Czech, Czech.

DAD:
Stop checking each other out, the final's beginning!


II/7 Final (Czech Republic - Russia)

('narrated' by Hnilička, but with each event immediately demonstrated by a dance)


HNILIČKA:
Oh, Russia, a giant, a bear, a colossus. And the little Czech lion, tame but with two tails.


(dance)

Oh, the rival! Wrongs, years of subjugation, humiliating slavery!
And the little Czech lion, tame but with two tails.


FEMALE SPECTATOR (simultaneously):
Little lion, tame.


(dance)


HNILIČKA:
Oh, no, do my eyes deceive me? They're going after Jágr!
Without honour the savages thrash the hero to the blood.
Like vultures, like hyenas, like termites, like roaches, like bugs, like bugs!


(dance)

Hey, they want to tear him to pieces
And nothing from the referee!


(dance)

Prematurely, before the end of the first period,
The hero seeks aid in the locker room.
And the little Czech lion does not surrender.


FEMALE SPECTATOR (simultaneously):
The little lion.

HNILIČKA:
A miracle! a miracle!
The Russians are staring in horror.
Jaromír as though born again, like christened with magic water!
Despite the tribulations he reigns the rink again!

RUSSIAN PLAYERS:
Chudyeso! (Russian, meaning 'amazing!')


(dance)


HNILIČKA:
Oh, that referee!
When it's amen with Russia.
Tricks and intrigues.
Our guileless innocents fall into the penalty box like pears.
Like nuts.
Like snow.


(Lamentation on the penalty bench:)


6TH PLAYER:
Exploiters, exploiters, exploiters, exploiters.

5TH PLAYER:
Chiggers, chiggers, chiggers.

4TH PLAYER:
Bugs, bugs.

3RD PLAYER:
Roaches.

2ND PLAYER:
Judges.

1ST PLAYER:
Executioners.

PLAYERS 1-6:
Behold, Hašan's heading for the gold!

MOM and DAD (joining in):
Hašan's heading for the gold!


(dance)


HNILIČKA:
Hašek under fire from a tremendous troupe of Russian brutes.
He's catching the pucks like flies!


(dance)


SVOBODA (one of the excluded players):
Enough! Enough!
My name's not Svoboda [= freedom] for nothing!

PLAYERS (the remaining five):
Svoboda, Svoboda!

SVOBODA:
Svoboda is chafing at the bit!


LEFT (Czech fans):
Goal, Gogol, goal!

RIGHT (fans of Russia):
Shto [Russian, meaning 'what']? Shto, shto, shto?


(Russian players being chided by their Coach. They sing a lament and kneel in a circle. The coach pounds his first on their helmets in the rhythm of his angry denunciations.)

CHORUS OF RUSSIAN PLAYERS (basses):
Hmm.

RUSSIAN COACH:
Duraki [Idiots]! Duraki!

LEFT:
Goal, Gogol, goal!

RIGHT:
Shto, shto shto, shto?

CHORUS OF RUSSIAN PLAYERS: Hmm.

RUSSIAN COACH:
Duraki! Duraki! Duraki! Durarara, kikiki-ki! Kikiki-ki! Durarara-ra!

HNILIČKA (simultaneously): Ha, ha! Russia, the giant, the bear.
They raged powerlessly, frozen in their anger. A vain attempt at a power play.
And the little Czech lion has the gold!

CHORUS OF FANS (basses) joins in:
It has the gold!

CHORUS OF FANS (in its entirety) joins in:
It has the gold!

FEMALE SPECTATOR:
The gold mane!


II/8 The delirious joy of victory

(The orchestra thunders, real footage is projected.)


FANS (all):
Thank you, boys! Thank you, boys! Hašek for President! Hašek for President!
Hašek is God! Hašek for President! Hašek is God! Hašek for President!

ALL SINGERS (choruses, soloists, everyone):
Kalokagathia! Kalokagathia! (They leave the stage singing.)

ALL WOMEN:
Nagano! Nagano!
(offstage) Nagano!


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - BREAK - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lullaby (3rd vocal introduction):

GEISHA (over a cradle):
On the island of Hokkaido,
Quietly, quietly, of all tumult shorn.
On the island of Hockey - Hockeydo,
The grandson of God was born.
The grandson of God was born.

Over the island of Hokkaido
Is heard a baby's shriek:
On the island of Hokkaido
Is born Dominik.
His name is Dominik.


3rd Period - Ceremony

1. Unrolling of carpets

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Thank you, boys, thank you!
Hašek for President, for President, for President, for President!
Hašek is Ga- Ga- Ga- God!

Two WORKERS conversing while unrolling the carpets:
They get millions
And shit on work.
After all, they really don't know how to do anything,
Except chase some hunk of rubber.

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Thank you, thank you!
Hašek for President, Hašek for President!

WORKERS:
They get millions
And shit on work.
They take money for nothing.
They make a living by fighting.
Why, they actually don't know how to do anything!
Golden 'stars'!
Only chasing a hunk of rubber
With a wooden stick!

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Kalokagathia!

HAŠEK:
Gratias Domine Deus.

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Thank you, thank you!

WORKERS:
They get millions
For fighting.
Let's go fight, too.
We'll get heaps of money.
(dreaming of what they would want for those millions)
A swimming pool full of sake and whiskey.
Sushi up to the ears.
Swi- swimming poo- pool.
Smooth-skinned geishas, shashas!

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Kalokagathia!

WORKERS:
Sushi, sashimi, sukiyaki.
Fine little plums
Wrap the soul with seaweed.
The mysterious tao.
Golden karate, karaoke.
Grouse eggs.
Tofu, tempura, teriyaki.
Nothingness, Lao-tzu.

LOUDSPEAKER:
And the victor is the Czech…
Are the Cze.., Czetsch..
Is the Czech Replica!


2. Awarding of medals

CHORUS (women and men):
Victoria, victoria! Kalokagathia!

ANTONIO (giving out medals and meanwhile singing to himself his wandering thoughts):
A decent hotel this year.
Quality services.
The Japanese are good.
You can't beat'em.

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Victoria, victoria!

ANTONIO:
The price includes your own minaret.
A blimp is also available.
A merry-go-round in the hotel room.
For a surcharge a dromedary.

HAŠEK:
Gratias Domine Deus.

ANTONIO:
What will I have, hmm, hmm, hmm,
What will I have, hmm, hmm, hmm,
Mm, hmm, hmm, hmm, for supper,
Mm, hmm, hmm, hmm, for supper?
Oy, oy, oy
Oy, oy, oysters.
Bozho-, bozho-, bo-, zhobo-, zhobo-
Bozho-, Beaujolais.

WORKERS:
Antonio knows how to live.

ANTONIO:
Smoked eels' ears. Ee, ee, e-ee, ee.

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
Hašek for President! Hašek for President!

ANTONIO:
Breaded yak hooves.
Yum, yum, yumyum, yum.

DAD and MOM:
Where'll we put it?
Here? Here.

HNILIČKA:
Home, homeward, the mind drifts.
The gold trophy.

DAD and MOM:
That's brilliant: nobody'll see it there!


ANTONIO:
He must be a spectator. He wants to get a medal, the clever one.
Yum, yum, yumyum, yum.

HNILIČKA:
Glory before the whole world.

ANTONIO:
Oh yeah, right, right.

MOM:
So let him wear it around his neck!

ANTONIO (walks past Hnilička, who has no uniform and is holding the flag):
Oh yeah, right, right.

DAD and MOM:
He didn't give it to him! That locust!


(Hnilička passes out.)


3. Hnilička's Dream

FEMALE SPECTATOR:
Mmm, mmm, mmm.

WOMEN'S CHORUS - sopranos (echo):
Mmm.

FEMALE SPECTATOR:
Mmm, mmm, mm-my, my dear

CHORUS (others):
Haha-še-še-, for presi- for presi...


(This image of unconsciousness in tone painting emerges repeatedly while Hašek, in his full goalkeeper's garb, obeying the rhythmic cheering of the crowd, climbs the steps to the Prague Castle, where the President of the Republic has his office. President Havel is waiting for him with the crown jewels in his hands.)


CHORUS OF FANS (many times):
Make Hašek President!


(After every cry of the crowd comes a chord in the orchestra signifying a step taken by Hašek. When he has almost reached Havel and the outreached hands approach each other, they are surprised by Jaroslav Hašek, who rises from the grave. Behind him emerges also Švejk.)


4. Dispute over dominion

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
I'm Hašek here.
I'm ready to breath again.
I'm willing to wave the sceptre
On the two-tailed lion.
Willing to wave the sceptre.

DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Quod licet Iovi non licet bovi.

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
Awakened by the calling of my name.

CHORUS OF FANS:
Hašek for President!

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
Torn away, evicted from eternal sleep,
I grope my way out of the grave.
The grave longs to become a castle,
And the castle a grave.

CHORUS OF FANS:
Hašek for President!

ŠVEJK:
On to Belgrade!

DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Quod licet Iovi non licet bovi. Redi mortue!

HAVEL:
Uhm, a regrettably sad affair.

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
A writer shall become President.

HAVEL:
I appreciate being able to meet with you.

DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Repudio te.

CHORUS:
Hašek is God!

DOMINIK HAŠEK (makes a threatening gesture toward Jaroslav):
Mihist nomen Dominik, nomen Dominik!

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
You can't kill a dead man (you miserable liar), a dead man lives forever.

HAVEL:
Uhm, let's maintain decorum.

DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Repudio te!

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
To press me out, that would suit you.

HAVEL:
Let's try to find a consensus.

DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Mortuus!

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
Give me that crown,

DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Quod licet Iovi

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
You unholy Václav [= Wenceslas]!

DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Non licet bovi.

HAVEL:
Only in accord with the constitution.

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
Of course, of course, into an institution with a madman.


(All at the same time:)


DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Repudio te.

ŠVEJK:
In my opinion...

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
I'm Hašek here.

HAVEL:
Let's try to find a consensus.

CHORUS:
Hašek! Hašek!

HAVEL:
You must admit, it can't be done arbitrarily, that...

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
Nothing arbitrary here.
The voice of the people, the will of the people.
I climb out of the grave like an ass out of Blaník.
And find complete madmen here.
Give me that crown before I wear a hole in the ground.


(Everyone at the same time:)


DOMINIK HAŠEK:
Repudio te, mortue!

ŠVEJK:
In my opinion...

JAROSLAV HAŠEK:
I'm ready to waive my sceptre (on the two-tailed lion).

HAVEL:
Let's try to find the meaning.

CHORUS:
Czechs! Czechs!

ŠVEJK:
In my...

HAVEL:
What message do you have for us, my good man?


5. Švejk's monologue

ŠVEJK (quotation from the book):
When I used to sell animals a lady came once and said her parrot flew out to the yard where some boys were playing Indians, and they caught it and plucked all the feathers out of its tail and decorated themselves with them like cops. And that parrot was so embarrassed it had no tail that it got sick, and the vet finished it off with some pills. So she wanted to buy a new parrot, some decent one, not some vulgar one that only knew how to curse. What was I to do, when I had no parrot and didn't know where to get one. All I had was a mean bulldog, completely blind. And so, Mr. President, I had to talk at that lady from four in the afternoon until seven in the evening until she bought that blind bulldog instead of a parrot. It was worse than some kind of diplomatic situation, and when she left I said: 'Just let the boys try to tear HIS tail out,' and I never spoke to that lady again, because on account of that bulldog she had to move out of Prague, because it bit everybody in her building. Do you believe me, Mr. President, that it's very hard to get a proper animal?


6. The national anthem

PLAYER BESIDE HNILIČKA (in half voice):
Milan, get up - the national anthem!

HNILIČKA (wakes up, looks around dazed, and asks):
Where is my home? Where is my home?


(The others give him hints; together they form the words of the Czech national anthem.)


MOM:
Water burbles through...

HNILIČKA:
the meadows.

DAD:
Forests whisper on...

HNILIČKA:
the mountainsides.

WOMEN'S CHORUS:
In the orchard in spring the shining...

HNILIČKA:
flower.

CHORUS (whole):
An earthly paradise to...

HNILIČKA:
behold.

DOMINIK:
And that is the beautiful...

HNILIČKA:
land,

COACH:
The Czech land,

HNILIČKA:
My home?

ANTONIO:
The Czech land,

ALL:
My home.


(The men hold out the final word for a long time so that it begins to sound like the humming of an airplane.)


Overtime


(The flight back:)


PLAYERS (intoxicated not only with their victory, falling asleep, but here and there still letting loose in joyful singing):
Uadada dä
Uadada deeyaa
Yadada deeyaa
Yada deeyaa

WOMEN'S CHORUS (singing in closing, in a conciliatory, angelic style, a canon of many parts to words of the ancient Chinese toaist poet Shih-te):
Behold how the light of the moon is bright,
Through four layers of heaven capable of illuminating everything.
Rounded radiance, hanging in broad space,
So cleanly transparent, it drowns everything in its light.
In human life there is bliss here and misery there.
In what I am looking at their is neither age nor sadness.
In appearance a pearl that shines through clouded waters,
Eternal through day and night in bright radiance.


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